Well, first off, I feel like just writing a long, maybe personal journal because..well..I can write journals (:

I've been so distant to some of my friends, and man does this drive me up the walls. I get shy after a while of not talking to someone, even if I wasn't like that before we got a little less closer. So, when this happens, I have such a bad time thinking of a conversation, and it usually ends in neither of us knowing what to say, and probably leaving each other to wonder what had happened or why it feels like the other hates us. I really hate that, and I really wonder how I can change it? Because of this, I often sit here staring at my dA page because I'm actually pretty lonely now-a-days. :c

And I hate not being able to think of a single solid idea to draw. I feel like I'm just loosing everything here, you know what I mean? I like looking at my favorite artists's work, and sometimes I just..feel so compelled and inspired to draw something..but what, is my huge problem in my lack of art. Often now I'm always seen drawing couple art, of small, puppy looking characters, colored with marker on notebook paper, in which the poses are usually near the same each time. I want to break myself of this habit, seeing as it irks me beyond belief to see I don't try to do better, and it only brings me down. A main goal of this year for me was to learn to draw humans, but at this rate, I have no idea how I'll be able to do it. And another thing, this not being able to keep an idea in mind, and my lack of poses, perspectives, and the puppy style I use, I cannot really draw much of what I owe to other people, and I hate things piling up to near death. But I wonder how to fix this one? I think a lot about it, yes, but, it shows how much it bothers me haha. I always get the urge to draw from someone, and I only wish I could actually put something on paper or the computer. I wonder why I'm having these problems, and wonder if there's a solution you might know?

I feel lame writing such a stupid, pointless journal about nothing anyone cares about lol, but I want to see what kind of response I can get.